I don’t think I’ve shared this photo before, but this is my Powersheets word of the year. Also, it’s obvious that I’m practicing my hand-lettering skills, haha! I loved all of these words, and felt passionately about them all when I realized that they were all choices. I’m at a point in my life where I’m finally feeling good enough to choose these things in my life. To choose to simplify, like closing my photo-biz in Utah, and removing the Twitter app from my phone (baby steps). Choosing to include, connect, and have fun with those in my life and around me. Choosing to clear my head, and say yes to me-time.
Most of my blogging ideas come to me at night when I’m the only one awake and my mind is going a million miles per hour. I feel like a little kid saying this, but I’m afraid to fall asleep sometimes. It’s 100% my anxiety talking but it makes it difficult! I get anxiety about having anxiety about having anxiety. I struggle to sleep through the night, like terrible insomnia. I’ve been on a sleeping medication for a few years now and I’m thinking that my body is growing tolerant to it and that causes fear which causes anxiety which causes late-nights, which causes really long and emotional days. It’s exhausting.
Because I have struggled to sleep throughout the night, aka, waking up literally every hour, I fear going to sleep. I fear going to sleep because I might not sleep at all…. again!!! :( Who wants to do that time and time again? Nobody does. I hate not getting sleep. But I also hate napping during the day and for long periods of time. It does my body no good. But I toss and turn because I stress about not being able to fall asleep so then I don’t fall asleep and then I do have a bad night. It just goes in one big circle and I’m tired. I’m so tired.
I always have a nice, ice-cold water bottle on my nightstand, I have the fan going, usually some Mormon/Christian-gospel playlist playing quietly (though I’m trying to breakaway from this habit), a nice fluffed pillow and a prayer in my head. I pray so hard every single night that I will have a good nights rest so that tomorrow I’m tired and sleepy and whiny. Haha I know that all of these are choices (see what I did there?) and I know that I probably sound lazy sometimes but I’m trying to make a more structured routine and schedule for myself to see if that helps. Like, maybe I need to add in an hour of journaling/scripture reading before bed or something. Oh! I am doing exercise so I’ve got that on my list already.
So tell me this (if you’ve made it this far), how do you make sure you have a good nights rest??