I am missing my dad so much today. So, so much. I had a hard time sleeping last night because I missed him so much. All I could think about are little moments of spending time with him, and although I’m extremely grateful for those moments, they just make me miss him more. They make me sad and cry. The heartache around the holidays is so much harder than during the Fourth of July or Memorial Day or something… it’s just harder.
My heart is hurting because next year will be 2 years since he passed. It feels like forever and I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. I don’t want him to be gone that long :( I just want him back. Grieving sucks. It brings up so many emotions from many things even though you’re only thinking about one thing. I really miss my best friends… really really miss them. I really miss my dad. I am feeling some emotions about something that I really don’t want to feel anymore but I can’t get it to go away and those emotions don’t help to miss my dad.
I’ve been doing really well. I love where I’m at. I think the first or second day I was really sad and just missed my mom and felt totally stuck where I was. But now, thinking about driving home just makes me want to roll my eyes. The drive feels so long and to make that drive twice in three days is exhausting. Haha, I sound like a baby. But I’m grateful for feeling this way about where I am in my life right now. I know it will get harder and I’ll miss my family more and more but I’m so glad that right now, I feel happy and good where I am and I love it. I love it here. I love this new place, with new people and new experiences. It’s just good.
I’ve been doing my best to read my scriptures every morning. I’ve been using the Red Headed Hostess Book of Mormon Study Guide while I read my scriptures. It usually helps me have a pretty good day and I always feel so much better after I study my scriptures. I can’t wait to go to the temple here. Gosh, I miss the temple so much. I miss my dad even more though.
I’m rambling. I do that a lot. Especially when I’m just feeling sad and heartbroken today.. :( :(
Just, don’t forget my dad, okay?